GI Joe Fanfic Wikia

Detroit, May, 1994

Hawk hated wearing civilian clothes at the best of times, but the casual work-shirt and jeans he was currently wearing made him even more uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the GI Joe safe house was in an area of Detroit where a US Army two-star general would stand out like a hot dog at a Bar Mitzvah. He shifted slightly and looked around the dining table at the assembled Joe squad: Shockwave, Mace, Bullhorn, Long Arm and Barricade.

Shockwave had been with the team several years and was an experienced SWAT officer. Bullhorn was a former FBI hostage negotiator given a temporary commission in the US Army as a Captain and serving in the same job, but he barely got out of the P.I.T. most days. Long Arm and Barricade were recent recruits to the Joes, both specialising in kicking in doors and clearing buildings in urban operations. Mace, however, was another former FBI agent who specialised in undercover operations. He was dressed in the coveralls of a local air conditioning maintenance company.

“Alright, what have we got?” Hawk asked.

Mace put a set of building plans on the table. “This is the target,” he began. “Local factory; closed down two years ago. Bought recently by an undisclosed company, through a local lawyer. A guy working as a security guard at another building reported to the local Bureau office that he’d seen several ‘suspicious’ people moving gear in late at night and then four days ago, he’d heard a lot of screaming.”

Hawk frowned at that.

“Surveillance of the site indicates the only individual who’s left the property is this man,” Mace put down a photo, showing a White male, in his thirties with long brown hair. “Suspect has been identified as a Cobra operative known only as ‘Hotwire’, thanks to a file we recovered from a Cobra safehouse recently. The file indicates he is a mechanical and engineering genius, schooled at MIT. He was involved in some shady research into cybernetic enhancements for humans. Seems they kicked him out and he joined Cobra.”

“Sounds like a complete loon,” Hawk commented.

“I know,” Mace agreed, “but the worry we have is, is this guy actually trying it out?”

Hawk exchanged looks with the others. The idea seemed plausible, if far-fetched. Cobra had been deploying Battle Android Troopers for years, after all, and trying to create some kind of B-movie style cyborgs was the kind of lunacy Hawk wouldn’t put past them.

“I take it I’m here to authorise a raid?” Hawk said.

Bullhorn nodded, “We hope that I can get him to come out peacefully; failing that, we let these guys,” he gestured to Long Arm, Shockwave and Barricade, “do their thing. Kick the door in and grab him.”

Hawk looked the team over. “Mission is a ‘go’,” he said.

Bullhorn turned to the others, “Get your gear ready, we’ll move at sun-down.”

Mace held up a hand, making everyone pause. “Hold up, what about posse comitatus? Military personnel aren’t allowed to conduct law enforcement functions.”

“GI Joe operates under executive authorisation to carry out counter-terrorist operations against Cobra and other groups in the US,” Hawk replied. “Besides which, you’re a Federal Agent, so is Bullhorn, Shockwave is a Detroit SWAT cop and you can always deputise Long Arm and Barricade.”

Mace shrugged. “Okay.”


The Cobra factory

The Joes moved into position, a van blocking the main gate in front of the doors. Bullhorn, in full tactical gear, stepped down from the van. He took a large loudhailer from Barricade and turned to face the building.

“Attention, this is GI Joe. Surrender and come out with your hands up, you’re under arrest!”

“Nice work, Bullhorn,” Barricade said, as he pulled on his helmet, “That ought to do it.” He picked up his sub-machine gun, checked there was a round chambered and then snapped the safety off.

Behind Bullhorn, Mace was taking his M4 carbine off the rack on the van’s door as Shockwave pulled his balaclava into place and picked up his own MAC-10 sub-machine gun. Long Arm steered a radio-controlled tank-like vehicle down the ramp at the back of the van and then loaded a sledgehammer like projectile into its gun.

‘Knock-knock!’ was painted on the end of the hammer’s head.

After a few more moments, Bullhorn raised his loudhailer again. “If you don’t surrender, we will storm this building!”

Inside, Hotwire had been eating a slice of cold two-day-old pizza when the first hail had come. He had rushed from his sofa to the security desk where a series of monitors relayed pictures from CCTV cameras on the outside of the building.

“Overkill!” he hollered. Heavy metallic footsteps sounded and then an over-large mechanoid stomped into the room.

“Yes?” the mechanoid asked in a buzzing voice.

“GI Joe is outside! Begin deploying the B.A.T.s to hold them off!”

The mechanoid nodded its bronze-coloured head, its red eyes glowing. As it turned away, the mech removed its right hand and replaced it with an enormous mechanical claw. Overkill stomped into the main room of the factory.

“B.A.T.s attack!” it shouted. “Destroy!”

The android troopers looked around at the mechanoid, before turning toward the doors. Some picked up assault rifles from racks near them; others snapped guns into place on their right wrist. A few connected flamethrowers to their arms; connecting a fuel hose to backpack tanks they wore. Others snapped long blade-like weapons into place.

Outside, Long Arm steered the tank toward the doors.

He hit a button on the control. A compressed gas hiss sounded as the sledgehammer was fired into the doors, smashing them apart.

“Remember, we want him alive,” Bullhorn said as he picked up his shotgun.

Long Arm moved the tank clear as the team headed for the doors. Then, out of the gloom, the B.A.T.s began to approach.

“BATS! BATS! BATS!” Barricade yelled, “Take them out!”

He immediately opened fire. The first burst shattered the faceplate of one of the androids, but it kept coming, turning its gun toward him. Before it could fire, Mace fired his M4, shattering the B.A.T.’s arm. It dropped the assault rifle and turned toward Mace. The FBI agent fired his M4 again, smashing rounds into the android’s legs.

The other Joes had already started firing at the mass of androids. They staggered back, under the gunfire, but ultimately kept coming.

“Screw this,” Long Arm said, he pulled a grenade from his tactical armour, pulled the pin and threw it.

The explosion ripped apart some of the B.A.T.s but the rest kept coming. The Joes began to fall back as the androids kept trying to fire at them. Those equipped with flamethrowers began moving forward, pushing past their mechanical brethren and began unleashing sheets of fire at the Joes.

Shockwave fired at burst that hit a flamer wielding B.A.T. and destroyed the fuel tank. The explosion took out a half dozen B.A.T.s near it, but more of the battle android troopers kept coming.

Barricade ran back to the van, as the rest of the team kept laying down fire, reloading their weapons as fast as they could. Barricade emerged from the van carrying a large anti-tank weapon.

“Cover!” he hollered.

The other Joes dived aside. Barricade fired, the rocket ploughed through five B.A.T.s before its warhead finally detonated, blowing apart several dozen of the androids. Flying shrapnel caused several secondary explosions as more of the flame-thrower wielding androids were hit, the fireballs obliterating more of their brethren.

Bullhorn abandoned his shotgun as he moved in, snatching up one of the fallen Battle Android Trooper’s assault rifles. The number of B.A.T.s had been thinned out considerably, but there were still plenty of them. Most of the ones left were armed with blades or crushing claws on their arms, or guns.

The Joes opened fire once more, taking down several more of the B.A.T.s as they advanced. One swung its sword arm at Barricade, who managed to deflect the blow with his gun. The blade sliced through it. Long Arm fired at the B.A.T. as it reared back for another try. The android dropped. He fired another burst into its chest, smashing circuits and relays. Barricade grabbed an assault rifle off the ground, before jumping back as a B.A.T. torso feebly tried to grab his leg with its remaining arm. He quickly shot the B.A.T. torso.

“Holy cow,” he yelped, “This is getting like a damn zombie movie!”

Shockwave ducked as one of the B.A.T.s with a large claw arm tried to grab his throat, then staggered back and fired his last three rounds into its face. He dropped the MAC-10, drew his sidearm and fired another two rounds into the android’s chest. It collapsed.

“No kidding,” he said. “I never did like Romero movies!”

Mace was too busy to answer, wrestling another B.A.T. with a claw arm as it tried to take his M4 off him. Finally he kicked the B.A.T. in the torso, sending it staggering back a few paces and then emptied his magazine into its chest. He reloaded.

“Last mag,” he called out before shooting another B.A.T. as it swung its blade arm at his head.

“Two left,” replied Shockwave, as he retrieved his MAC-10.

Bullhorn yelled out in pain before anyone else could comment as he was hit in the chest by one of the androids with a gun-arm. Mace and Shockwave fired at it, as Long Arm rushed to the federal agent’s side.

“I’m okay,” Bullhorn said, “Body armour took the damage, but it still hurts.”

“Yeah, you’ll have a nice bruise there after,” Long Arm replied.

Most of the B.A.T.s equipped with guns were now out of ammo, having wasted most of it, trying to hit the Joes and winding up hitting their cybernetic comrades.

Mace threw a grenade at the others as they advanced, claw-arms snapping, blades raised to strike.

The explosion took out most of them. A few shattered B.A.T.s tried to crawl after them, only to be shot by Bullhorn with his shotgun, before he switched to the assault rifle once more. The team advanced.

The Joes had now made it into the building. More of the robotic killers were still coming toward them however.

“Goddamn,” Long Arm cursed as he threw another grenade into their mass, “How many of these things are there?”

Hotwire watched as the Joes continued to fight their way through his army of B.A.T.s. He turned to see Overkill standing protectively nearby.

The green, red and bronze-coloured mechanoid had been built as the first of a new generation of B.A.T, more intelligent and more adaptive than the crude mark I and mark II types Cobra had previously fielded. However, that increase in capability came at a cost. Overkill was too expensive to mass-produce. Instead, Hotwire used it as his B.A.T. commander and bodyguard.

“Overkill, deploy the Cyber-Vipers and the Mega-Vipers. Let’s see what my newest creations can do, eh?” Hotwire cackled to himself as Overkill stomped away to another room in the factory.

The Joes advanced into the main room of the factory, the assembly line dominating the chamber. Partially assembled B.A.T.s were still in place on conveyors, work surfaces or hanging from other parts of the line.

“Check your corners,” Barricade cautioned. “Keep an eye out for more of them.”

The team moved around the machinery cautiously, their rifles sweeping back and forth as they scanned the room.

Then a door slammed open. The team span toward the sound in unison. Rifles in the aim, they moved forward slowly.

Standing in the doorway were two bizarre looking figures. They moved forward, others following them. The lead figure was dressed in red trousers, but with the right thigh missing, showing what looked like a mechanical construct replacing the leg. Metal plating covered the chest of the figure, whilst it’s right arm ended in a sophisticated mechanical hand. Its face was hidden behind a yellow visor, a pipe of some kind covering the nose and snaking into the jaw. The top and back of the head were covered with yellow metal plating. The figure carried a large rifle. The second figure, also clearly some kind of man-machine with a helmet completely covering its face. A bright yellow jumpsuit covered it from neck to feet, with hideously clashing purple boots, gloves and some kind of mechanical device on the chest. It was also carrying a rifle.

“What in the name of…?” asked Shockwave.

The figures moving out from behind the first pair were almost identically dressed and equipped.

“Who cares?” replied Barricade. “Shoot them!”

Almost as one, the Joes opened fire, bullets pinging off the chests of the bizarre beings.

The cyborg monstrosities began to bring their own rifles to bear.

Programs ran, logic gates checked, muscles contracted in cybernetic hands synched to flesh nerves.

The Cyber-Vipers and Mega-Vipers opened fire.

Barricade took three rounds in the chest, which knocked him off his feet. Long Arm dropped to one knee, avoiding taking another burst. He adjusted his own aim and put three rounds in the face of one of the Cyber-Vipers. The first round severed the odd nose-pipe. The second smashed the yellow visor. The third killed the cyborg.

Shockwave managed to duck the gunfire from the cyborgs, grabbed hold of Barricade’s armour vest and dragged him behind a hunk of machinery. Mace and Bullhorn threw themselves to the ground and sprayed return fire at the cyborgs. Bullets pinged off armoured chests, punched into flesh arms, shattered visors and smashed mechanical arms.

Still the Cyber-Vipers and Mega-Vipers fired. Some dropped as the Joes fire succeeded in hitting their flesh and blood parts, either killing them or at least the impact threw them off their feet. Some were damaged, sufficiently that they backed away.

Shockwave found the three impacted bullets on Barricade’s body armour and brushed them off.

“You okay?” he asked.

Barricade coughed, then groaned. “That damn well hurt,” he complained. “I’m gonna have a bad bruise there.” He grinned at Shockwave, “Better than the alternative, right?”

“Got that right,” Shockwave replied.

Long Arm, Bullhorn and Mace continued to fire. Shockwave leaned around the hunk of machinery and opened fire. A Mega-Viper took the entire burst in its chest. It turned toward him and he adjusted his aim before firing four rounds into its face. The Mega-Viper crashed to the floor. As he reloaded, Shockwave reflected that the Mega-Vipers looked like they were on steroids, they were so muscular.

Not that he knew they were called Mega-Vipers, instead he thought of them simply as ‘the weird yellow ones’.

Barricade struggled back to his feet, grabbed his fallen rifle and opened fire, a Cyber-Viper falling to his rounds.

Bullhorn fell back and ducked behind another piece of machinery. “Everyone find cover and then throw whatever grenades you have left!” he ordered, shouting over the automatic weapons fire.

Long Arm and Mace ducked past him and then Shockwave yelled, “Frag out!” and threw a grenade. The others threw the few grenades they had left.

Some of the Cyborgs were killed by the explosions of the grenades. Others were struggling to their feet, aiming with their weapons erratically. The Joes opened fire.

Hotwire watched incredulously as the Joes fought on. His cybernetic soldiers were being gunned down like fish in a barrel. He turned to Overkill.

“Kill the Joes and don’t fail me!” he snarled.

The large mechanoid stomped out, the mechanical claw on its arm snapping.

The Mega-Vipers and Cyber-Vipers began to fall back, the Joes continuing to advance, firing relentlessly.

Long Arm dropped his rifle, snatching up one of the fallen Cyber-Vipers’ assault rifle in its place. Mace and Bullhorn quickly followed suit.

Overkill charged forward, shoving aside the Mega-Vipers and Cyber-Vipers to get to the Joes.

Immediately the Joes switched their attention and opened fire at him. Bullets pinged off his armoured hide. One of his optics was shattered, but it didn’t slow him down. Instead he charged at Barricade, swatted him aside and then lunged at Mace, claw snapping. The claw clamped around Mace’s left arm, he screamed in pain as it crushed his bicep. Mace managed to bring his assault rifle up and put it to Overkill’s head before firing.

The mechanoid released Mace’s left arm, snatched at the assault rifle and ripped it from his grasp. Mace fell to the floor, grimacing as he held his shattered arm.

Long Arm dashed forward, grabbed Mace by his collar and hauled him back, just missing a wild swing from the mechanoid’s claw.

Bullhorn and Barricade opened fire, covering Long Arm as Shockwave pulled a small medkit from his belt and pulled out a morphine syringe.

Overkill reared back and emitted a mechanical shriek before lunging at Bullhorn. The Federal agent calmly shot Overkill in the face before stepping back.

“That armour’s too strong for our weapons!” he hollered at Barricade.

“No kidding,” Barricade snapped. He ducked a punch from Overkill’s left arm as the mechanoid pivoted toward him.

As Long Arm glanced up from Shockwave’s ministrations of Mace, he saw trouble.

“Yo, Joes,” he called, “The other cyborg things are coming back!”

“We need to get the hell out of here and get some better damn weapons!” Bullhorn yelled back. “Like a damn tank!”

“You’ll need more than that!” came a human voice. The Joes, ducking fire as they were, turned to see a door opening. Out of it strode a seven-foot high mechanical figure. Unlike the B.A.T.s they’d already fought off, this one was clearly some kind of suit. Human arms could be seen grasping control levers on the suit, whilst a person was visible through a canopy over the suit’s torso.

“My mech suit will crush you!” Hotwire bellowed. Long Arm was unimpressed as the figure, looking like something out of a comic stomped forward, a large three-fingered hand snapping menacingly.

Instead, the urban assault specialist drew his sidearm, took aim and fired three rounds in quick succession at Hotwire’s left arm. The lunatic scientist screamed in pain as he was hit.

He pivoted the suit toward Long Arm, raising his right arm to bring up the suit’s massive 20mm gun. Bullhorn slid across the floor away from Overkill and fired his assault rifle, hitting Hotwire’s arm. Again, the lunatic Cobra screamed.

As Shockwave, Long Arm and Barricade fired at Overkill and the Cyber and Mega-Vipers, Bullhorn ducked in close to the mech suit, spotted a small switch and hit it. The suit’s torso split apart, opening up like a clam. Hotwire fell out, moaning in agony, blood splattered up his white lab coat’s sleeves.

Bullhorn scrambled into the suit’s control seat. He hit a switch on the suit, closing it back up. Then, grabbing the control levers, he span around and punched Overkill. The blow was so strong it smashed the mechanoid’s head off its neck. Bullhorn turned toward the Cyber-Vipers and Mega-Vipers, flicked the safety cover off the gun’s trigger and opened fire. Armour-piercing rounds ripped apart the cyborgs.  After ten seconds, the gun clicked empty.

Nothing moved except Shockwave as he hit Hotwire with another vial of morphine, knocking the scientist out.

Hours later

Hawk strode through the wreckage of the factory. “So, this nutball wasn’t content with just building B.A.T.s, he had to try creating some kind of cyborg super-soldiers and a damn mechanical suit?” he asked Bullhorn as they walked up the steps to Hotwire’s control room.

“Yes, General.” Bullhorn waved Hawk into the office ahead of him, “But that’s not all. The files on his computer include plans for genetically modified Cobra troops he’s dubbed ‘Bio-Vipers’ and ‘Monstro-Vipers’ intended to be a new breed of Cobras with animal DNA. The plans read like something out of a bad sci-fi novel, to be honest. But the damnedest thing is he managed to create cyborgs. The Cyber-Vipers, as we found they’re called, are ordinary Vipers enhanced with mechanical arms and legs. The ultimate intent being to put organic brains in wholly cybernetic bodies. The Mega-Vipers, by contrast, are enhanced with some cybernetics, but also pumped full of steroids and stimulants to increase muscle mass, reaction times and so on.”

Hawk looked at him horrified. “Thank God we crashed his party then. What about that other mech you reported?”

“Computer files call it ‘Overkill’, a planned mark three B.A.T. that proved too expensive,” Barricade put in from the seat in front of the computer. “It was given better armour and a more advanced AI brain, but it made it cost prohibitive. Hotwire’s been using it as a cross between a bodyguard, a commander for the B.A.T.s and a supervisor on the factory floor.”

“And the mechanical suit?” Hawk asked.

“Prototype as well, thankfully,” Barricade replied. “Plan was to make them as walking tanks to augment the ‘Mega Monsters’ and the android legions.”

“Mega-Monsters?” Hawk echoed.

Barricade nodded as he clicked the computer’s mouse. “Yeah, that was Hotwire’s name for the project combining the Mega and Cyber-Vipers with the Monstro and Bio-Vipers.”

The computer screen showed what Hawk realised was an artist’s impression of the genetically enhanced Vipers, one was a reptilian looking creature with a long snout, blue-green skin and what looked like some kind of tentacles. The other was a furred, fanged monstrosity that looked like a werewolf in body armour.

“Good job, Joes,” Hawk said. “How’s Mace?”

“In the ER,” Bullhorn replied, “His left humerus was snapped clean through and is going to need major work to rebuild. He might not regain full use, but he will survive.”

“Hotwire’s not so lucky,” Barricade put in. “Both his arms were shattered by the bullets we put in him, he’s never going to regain anything more than forty, forty-five percent use of his arms.”

“He won’t need to, he’ll be in a Federal pen for the rest of his life,” Hawk replied. “Local DA is lining up charges already.”

Bullhorn grinned, “I do so love a trial after getting my man.”

Hawk smirked. “DARPA’s coming to take possession of the mech suit and the B.A.T. wreckage. The surviving Cyber-Vipers and Mega-Vipers will be taken into custody to see if they can have their implants removed.”

DARPA was the US Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency, a federal agency responsible for developing new technologies. The agency had actually been renamed ‘ARPA’, losing the ‘defence’ part of the name the previous year. Hawk was too used to calling it DARPA to change with the times.

“We’ve got a team coming in from the FBI and ATF to clear up the wreckage and police the weapons and explosives,” Hawk went on. “Pack up your gear and be ready to move out once they arrive.”

The two Joes saluted, “Yes sir,” they snapped in unison. Hawk left.

“Not much gear to pack up,” Barricade commented. “Long Arm already did most of that.”

“I know. Let’s go wait for them downstairs. I wanna razz on the ATF guys,” Bullhorn replied.

Barricade rolled his eyes; federal agency inter-service rivalries went beyond the military to the likes of the Federal Bureau of Investigations and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms it seemed. He personally found the bickering to be juvenile.

They went outside to await the federal agents.

“Nice working with you, Bullhorn.”

The other man smiled, “You too, Barricade.”


This story was intended as one to feature Bullhorn, Mace, Long Arm and Barricade, who never appeared in the Marvel US comics, in a situation where you’d want a group of guys with urban warfare/law enforcement training. Hotwire’s based on the GI Joe Collector’s Club 2008 Joecon character. Since he was a B.A.T. mechanic, it seemed a good idea to use him with Overkill, the Mega-Vipers and the Cyber-Vipers. The mech-suit Hotwire uses is of course based on the suit that was one of the 2008 Joe Con exclusives.